How Time Shapes Our Perception of Who We Were
Have you ever looked back at something from your past and thought, "How could I have acted that way?" Or felt a sense of discomfort when recalling old decisions, thoughts, or behaviors? This feeling is more common than you might think and it’s a natural part of personal and emotional growth.
As we gain new experiences, knowledge, and maturity, our perception of the past evolves. Over time, we develop greater awareness of ourselves and the world around us, which can make our past selves seem unfamiliar, even embarrassing. But why does this happen?
1. Expansion of Awareness
As we grow, our perspective on life broadens. What once seemed right or acceptable might now feel naive, simplistic, or even misguided. This happens because, as we mature, we begin to see nuances and complexities that were once invisible to us.
Think about a book you read as a teenager: when you reread it years later, it might feel completely different. The book hasn’t changed, you have. You now perceive layers and meanings that previously escaped you. The same happens when we interpret our own past.
2. Learning from Mistakes
Every experience teaches us something new. What once felt like a normal decision may now seem immature or impulsive because we’ve learned better ways to handle situations.
Perhaps you reacted emotionally in a conflict, found yourself in unhealthy situations, or trusted people you wouldn’t today. But at that time, with the knowledge you had, you did the best you could. That new perspective isn’t proof of failure… it’s proof of growth.
3. Changing Identity
Do you know our identity isn’t fixed? It’s constantly evolving. Our values, beliefs, and priorities shift over time. The version of you that existed five or ten years ago might seem distant, and that’s a reflection of your transformation.
If you look at old photos, beyond the physical changes, you might also notice internal shifts: perhaps your tastes have changed, your opinions have evolved, or you’ve developed a new mindset. This process is natural and essential to maturity.
4. Comparing Ourselves to the Present
Our minds instinctively compare our past selves to who we are today. Since we now have more knowledge and awareness, it’s easy to think we should have done things differently. But this comparison often ignores the context of the past where we made decisions based on the resources and emotions we had at the time.
Think about the first time you learned to drive, cook, or try a new skill. You were awkward at first, but that was necessary for growth. Life works the same way: we grow through mistakes, adjustments, and learning.
5. The Illusion of Final Maturity
We often believe that we’ve reached the peak of our maturity in the present moment. But this cycle repeats. A year from now, we’ll likely look back at today and think, "How did I not see that before?" Growth is a never-ending process.
We tend to assume we’ve “arrived” at self-awareness, only to realize later that there was more to learn. This realization isn’t discouraging but it’s proof that we are always evolving.
What Does This Mean?
Feeling disconnected from our past selves isn’t a sign that we were “wrong” - it’s a sign that we’ve grown. The discomfort we feel when recalling past behaviors is actually a positive reflection of our evolution.
The key is self-compassion right? If we didn’t know better back then, it’s because we hadn’t yet reached the awareness we have today. Instead of judging our past selves, we should recognize that every phase had its purpose and contributed to who we are now.
Embracing this journey allows us to move forward with ease, knowing that we are always learning and becoming better versions of ourselves.
You Are Always Becoming
If there’s one thing this journey teaches us, it’s that personal growth has no final destination. Looking back and realizing how much we’ve changed can feel unsettling, but it’s also proof that we’re moving forward, learning, and evolving.
And since life is full of cycles, it makes sense to have small rituals that help us reconnect with who we are becoming. Whether it’s taking moments of pause, journaling, or simply creating a comforting space to process our emotions, these rituals remind us to be present.
Speaking of that… I’m working on something special for those who, like me, love turning their space into a sanctuary of inspiration. ✨ If you appreciate moments of self-reflection and growth, check out my personalized candle here:
May your journey of self-discovery continue to be gentle, real, and full of meaningful insights. See you in the next post. 💛
I think full self awareness would be overwhelming to be honest, but a balanced level of self awareness and self assuredness / blind confidence (along with the instincts on when to pivot because something isn’t working), will go a long way.
It’s crazy how we always think we’ve finally figured things out, but then a year later, we look back and see how much we’ve changed.
Makes me wonder—do we ever really reach full self-awareness, or are we just learning as we go? I really like the part about self-compassion too.
It’s a good reminder that growth never really stops. This was a great read! 🤔